Caleb Harris
On Sunday, Tom Brady took pressure like he was behind a junior varsity offensive line facing the 1985 Chicago Bears. Netflix’s “Roast of Tom Brady” was a hit and got us thinking about other famous athletes who would be a great roasted forage.
The Brady roast brought out stars from all walks of life. Actor and comedian Kevin Hart hosted the event. Former New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick was there along with former receiver Julian Edelman. Even Kim Kardashian took the stage while seasoned comedians like Nikki Glaser and Jeff Ross were there to throw real flames from the podium.
When searching for a list of upcoming potential roasts, we try to find people who are true legends in their sport. Of course, it also helps the entertainment value if that person hasn’t shied away from a little controversy over the years.
The success of the Brady event means there will likely be more similar events in the future, so here is a list of sports figures, from NBA GOATs to NFL owners, who would be the best targets.
Michael Jordan
If Tom Brady can be roasted, no one will be off limits, no matter how many rings they have. That being the case, let’s put Michael Jordan himself in the spotlight. Bring back some of Jordan’s biggest rivals from his time on the field. Isiah Thomas, Patrick Ewing and Larry Bird could be part of the dais. The roast could also feature Jordan’s former Chicago Bulls teammates like Scottie Pippen that there may still be something to resolve with MJ. Don’t forget Steve Kerr, who probably has some pent-up resentment about getting punched in the face.
The “Roast of Michael Jordan” may also include current players with LeBron James as part of the event. The NBA GOAT debate could be a running topic, and we could turn this into a two-night event, with James becoming the target after Jordan. Then maybe we could finally settle the Jordan-LeBron debate once and for all.
Carlos Barkley
In keeping with the NBA, there are few basketball personalities more opinionated than Barkley. Tune in to “NBA on TNT” and you’ll see Barkley roasting players and his co-hosts. The man I just sent the New Orleans Pelicans to Galveston, Texas instead of Cancún for the end of season vacation. Obviously, Shaquille O’Neal and Kenny Smith would have to be part of the event, and I’m sure Ernie Johnson has a few jokes in his back pocket after years of sitting next to the Round Mound of Rebound. It would probably also be a good idea to allow the NBA players Barkley called out on TV to get back at him, but the stage is big and the roast probably needs to have a time limit.
tiger woods
The greatest golfer in history, Tiger Woods did all this while under the microscope for all the wrong reasons. The ultimate roast target is a controversial legend, and Woods fits that bill perfectly. The 15-time Major winner is an icon of American sports, but he has also suffered a public fall from grace. A roast would allow Woods to tell all with comedians and other athletes taking turns to fire him up about some of his off-the-field escapades. When it comes to guests, the dais would be as star-studded as any other on the list. Phil Mickelson and John Daly would keep the evening interesting, and golf enthusiast Michael Jordan could probably be convinced to attend as well.
Jerry Jones
When you think of football’s most capable personalities, Jerry Jones has to be at or near the top of the list. Owner of the NFL’s most polarizing franchise, Jones tends to express his opinions quite freely. This can create friction with both players and coaches. Just ask Jimmy Johnson, who was just Just been inducted into the Cowboys Ring of Honor last December, 30 years since he coached the team to back-to-back Super Bowls. Jones is also no stranger to off-field controversy, so there would be plenty of jokes there as well. Obviously, Johnson would have to be part of the roster, and other former Cowboys like Michael Irvin, Emmitt Smith, Troy Aikman, Tony Romo and Deion Sanders could also be involved.
Alex Rodríguez
A-Rod is no stranger to hate. He experienced this throughout his entire 22-season MLB career. This vitriol really escalated in 2004 when Rodriguez signed with the New York Yankees and became part of the Evil Empire. Being a high-paid star with the Yankees is enough to attract some attention in and of itself, but Rodriguez has had his share of controversies that have been besides the diamond too. Most notably, Rodriguez was involved in the Biogenesis PED scandal and missed the entire 2014 season due to a suspension and appeal process. The pool of potential roasters is quite deep and could include anyone from Derek Jeter to Ryan Dempster, who already took a few shots at Rodriguez in 2013. Hold the roast at Fenway Park and you could sell out an entire weekend’s worth of shows.
Brad Marchand
Every NHL game is filled with players fighting each other between whistles. One of the most prolific trolls is Marchand, who is an All-Star pest in addition to being a true All-Star. Marchand is known for stirring the pot on the ice, sometimes crossing the line to the point of making frequent visits to the penalty box. That said, its crack extends far beyond the 200×85 ice surface. Marchand fired a lot of shots on social media, even facing the entire Carolina Hurricanes organization once. There are players on 31 other teams who would love the chance to attack Marchand, and there’s no doubt he would love the opportunity to do the same to them.
Conor McGregor
It’s probably fair to assume this is the most volatile roast on the list, which probably only lends itself to more dramatic TV. McGregor is used to giving and receiving blows in the Octagon, but now he has the chance to engage in verbal sparring on stage. Of course, McGregor has plenty of experience cutting promos against opponents. Just go to YouTube if you want to spend a few hours watching his best work in that department. The only concern with this roast would be that the proper number twelve and testosterone start flowing and things get a little physical on stage. Maybe the organizers you simply shouldn’t invite Khabib Nurmagomedov be a roaster.
Brett Favre
If you’re looking for another legendary quarterback to roast, Brett Favre probably fits the bill. Not only is Favre one of the greatest gunslingers in NFL history, but there is also a long list of material for the guests of honor to work on material from him. Favre’s dramatic split with the Green Bay Packers, as well as his brief stints with the New York Jets and Minnesota Vikings, would be a good starting point. From there, attention would turn to some of Favre’s less flattering off-field antics, and something tells me volleyball may be mentioned once or twice. Make sure to put Aaron Rodgers on that stage too.
Kim Mulkey
LSU’s head coach is known for her intensity on the court, flamboyant outfits and lack of filter in the media. That’s a good recipe for a roast, and Mulkey has received a lot of attention from fans and haters alike in recent years as women’s basketball continues to grow in popularity. Some of Mulkey’s former players, including Angel Reese, could be involved, but the list wouldn’t end there. Get some rival coaches from other programs across the country, like UConn’s Geno Auriemma, and see how it evolves into a glorified recruiting camp.
